So as the new year approaches I feel the need to life audit all over the Internet. Aren't we disgusting? Anyway I prefer to set myself Not New Years Resolutions, because who cares about losing weight and finding a nice boyfriend? So here are mine for 2012:
1. Stay living in the north east - seriously, I love never seeing the sun.
2. Get really properly fat. I hover somewhere in between normal and a bit fat most of the time - who wants that? I may as well embrace obesity and spend the remainder of my days hoovering up pies and drinking cream.
3. Get more cats. I can't do bitter and single really effectively without a gang of mangy cats to throw at the neighbourhood children. Two just doesn't quite scream "practicing for impending death" quite like ten does.
4. Go out with another loser who lives with his mother. Who wouldn't want to be treated like crap by a whingy man who cant decide what he wants and eventually dumps you by text?
5. Stay in more. I think I go out too much - to work, to the shops, even sometimes to see friends. I think it's time to start festering in my own filth.
6. Take up smoking. Why not?
7. Drink more. I'm not drunk often enough. It will make items 1, 2, 4 and 5 much easier.
Happy New Year everyone!